HERE ENDETH THE FIRST CHAPTER.....

My apologies are due to the French postal authorities, who were on the end of a tongue-lashing in my last post. Not that they ever saw my posting (very few people do!), or were particularly bothered, supposing they did - these large corporations tend to be quite pachydermal.

The package containing my painting arrived back chez moi safely yesterday, having spent a month on a journey to, from and presumably around France, although it never reached its intended destination in Provence. The contents seem to be in good condition, in spite of having attracted the attention of HM Revenue and Customs en route. Perhaps they mistook my bubble wrap and polystyrene sheeting for a consignment of best hashish - who knows? In a way, I suppose I have to be smugly satisfied with my own wrapping system, which has survived this prolonged trip.

The main mystery is how my address envelope got torn off during this odyssey. I used one of these clear purpose-built "Documents Enclosed" thingies (and yes, I remembered to peel the back off first!). This has completely disappeared, leaving a puckered hole in the wrapping at the top left corner of where it used to be. Why didn't it adhere better?

These and other questions have been buzzing around my tortured mind this morning, as I have been filling in the Parcelforce claim form for my postage and insurance. "Doo haes ta git whit doo can!", as my uncle Tirval used to say. If anyone wants a translation of that snippet of Shetland vernacular, email me at jim@tait-gallery.co.uk.

I've kept in touch with the client to whom the package had been addressed (fortunately he is a patient man) during this sorry episode, and we have agreed that it would be better to wait until the postal strike is over before we attempt another despatch. We thereby avoid any unnecessary complications to a process which is already frought with difficulties. I'll let you know how we get on!