CRUISE SHIPS AND RELATED THINGS

The accommodation barge, for the workers on the imminent Sullom Voe Terminal gas plant refurbishment, arrived in Lerwick harbour today. The "Bibby Bigmodularcubething" is, I believe, to be moored at the same place as a similar edifice was, the last time a similar job was undertaken "up nort" a few years back. When the services have been plumbed in, it will provide digs for about a hundred and fifty artisans, and a few security and skivvy jobs for locals, no doubt some of them students, who will welcome the cash boost which long shifts will produce for them.

The presence of this sizeable waterborne structure means that the berth which is normally used for medium-sized cruise ships will be unavailable for this purpose for the whole summer. This will make little practical difference to me, as, in my opinion, cruise ships are a complete waste of time and harbour space. I have yet to sell as much as an A4 print to a cruise-ship passenger, and most local retailers consider these visitors as equally non-contributory to their sales totals. These big white monstrosities may as well be shunted out to the SBS base, or the Dales Voe terminal, which has sat unused, reeking faintly of mothballs and white elephant ordure, for the last ten years (could this not have been a better location for the accommodation barge?).

Or the ships could be anchored in the inner harbour, along with the vessels which are too large to be berthed. From there, their shell-shocked passengers can be punted ashore in the ships' lifeboats, before being corralled onto tour buses which take them to all the Shetland tourist destinations which are on the "favoured" list. Those venues which charge an entrance fee to cover some of their running costs are deliberately shunned, as a matter of the port authority and Visit Shetland's cosa nostra policy. Tours organised through Northlink Ferries have the same bias. Visit Shetland only will assist local producers who have paid their extortionate membership fees. I was told, on asking them to display a few leaflets in their premises at Lerwick's Market Cross, that they would only do so if I became a member, which cost £150! Surely a scale of service charges would be a more sensible policy.

Apart from a few "iconic" items, such as knitwear, along with goods which are passed off as Shetland products by unscupulous traders to gullible visitors, little is bought from local retailers by cruise ship passengers. They have excellent food provided on board as part of their tariff, so, apart from a few confections, little by way of foodstuffs is bought ashore. I have heard that some of the cruise ship operators actually discourage their clients from buying items from shore-based retailers, as they would much rather that they would spend their limited spare cash on merchandise from their own onboard shops.

The benefit to the local economy from visiting cruise ships is therefore very limited, and much overstated by Visit Shetland and the Lerwick Port Authority. The latter no doubt benefits (from the harbour dues for these vessels), along with local bus operators, a few knitwear manufacturers, and producers of Shetland pate a foie gras, products whose Shetland identity and provenance are based on their creators' residence alone. The umbrella organisations for the local tourist "industry" have found themselves in the position of large piscatorial beings in small aqueous volumes everywhere - they have far more power than they know how to handle properly.

So whenever a large cruise ship appears off the Bressay Light, I regard it with mixed feelings. I enjoy seeing the big ships simply because of my maritime interests, but not because of any financial benefit which might come my way from their presence. The "Bibby Bigboxything" offers more by way of sales prospects for local merchants - her residents will require locally-sourced food and other products. One of them might even want to buy one of my prints to send home to a loved one - who knows?