RETIRED AMATEURS

Retired Duo's Displays Show The Many Faces Of Amateur Painting

So expectorated the headline in "The Shetland Times" on Friday 27th February 2009. Underneath it was a critique, by Peter Davis, of the current exhibition in Shetland Museum, by Bobby Robertson and myself.

There was a sub-heading, underneath the headline, which stated:- "Classic Tait theme of loan boat in heavy seas". What, in heaven's name, is a loan boat - the marine equivalent of the gravy train? I know that many fishing vessels have been purchased with assistance from banks, and that many fishermen have seen loan sharks lurking in the depths, but this is a presumptive statement, against which I must protest.

Visions are entering my tortured imagination of a bank manager donning his stetson and mask, as he mounts his white charger and sets off into the sunset, with his faithful redskin sidekick Tonto. As the strains of the William Tell Overture ring out, his adoring public realise, with sadness, that another episode of The Loan Ranger has come to an end.

A hard-up but hopeful Laurel and Hardy are on the trail of the loansome pine, and Robert Duvall, as Gus, is eagerly pursuing the Loansome Dove, in the hope that it lays a golden egg or two. An impecunious Elvis approaches Priscilla hopefully, singing, "My dear, are you loansome tonight?" These images are crying out for artistic impression from me.

"Lord, it's sad to be a loan.
Help me make it through the night"
wept Kris Kristofferson, and Gladys Knight plaintively echoed the privation.

Mr Davis is an artist of repute and talent, who nevertheless should stand a bit closer to his dictionary when penning his reviews. In this instance, the spell-checker on his computer would have been of little use. Had he consulted his local directory, he would have also realised that I am neither retired nor amateur, whatever his opinion may be of my artwork. In July, I will never see sixty again, but I have been in full-time self-employment as an artist for five years, and will continue to be so for as long as I can. Things are difficult at the moment, but better times are ahead - I can feel it in my creative water.